A review Dei-san may understand easier:
wa~ sore wa hontou ni okashii datta. jitsu wa kono anime ga omoshiroi kedo tenkai ga hayakute katsudou ga muimi na no kara chotto hen no kanji ga aru. tatoeba doushite raki suta no kyarakuta- ga imashita ka? sore wa chotto muimi datta.
sore ni mo kakawarazu, kaita e ga subarashii da. Dei-san wa kakuno ga yoku dekiru sou. yahari iro no erabu koto wa yokatta desu. mou senga wa nameraka datta.
shorai no anime wo tanoshimi ni matsu. ganbaruzo.
-The Ninjkabat ~ yori
How long is forever to you? A week? three days? one night? two hours? 'Cause I really can't tell how long you spent on this, although my guess is that the real answer is closer to two hours than the infinite amount of time that is forever.
Anyway, symantics aside, this was a really bad submission. Note, I didn't say that it is a bad example of flash; it does take a little bit of knowhow to program a play and stop button. But it is a bad submission. Thousands of people submit things to the portal that they shouldn't and this is one of them. At best, this is a test. It is a test of your actionscript proficiency, and one that probably should have been shared with friends and family instead of the entire internet. There is so much content on the web that people only are really interested in new and interesting things; many people have already come up with a play button, so a play button on it's own is not that interesting.
But you have said you are new to flash, so here is my advice to you: learn how to use it before you submit anything. Take a class, buy a book, look for tutorials online, do anything that will give you a comfortable foundation in flash and what it can do. Then once you know how to use it, come up with a good idea and go for it. But, as it is, the Newgrounds community doesn't want to watch you learn flash; they want to see what you're able to do once you've learned it.
So keep making tests like this, but just keep them to your friends, store them in a special file, and in two years look back at them and laugh at yourself for thinking that this was good enough to be submitted.
If this passes, it's only proof that Naruto is popular enough to overcome the fact that this submission is only 8 lines of code. It might be, but I sure hope it isn't.
Ninja don't automatically make it good
I don't want to be a jerk, but this shouldn't have been submitted. This is a test animation, at best, that should have been shared with friends and family. As it is, there is very little animation, the drawing skills are remedial at best, and the plot is nonexistant.
You need to practice for at least a year, learning how to draw and tween in flash, before you attempt to submit anything again. Not everyone can draw, but I believe that with practice, anyone can get the hang of it. You just need to put in the hard practice before your flashes will be any good.
But yeah, take it from a seasoned ninja: this movie makes me ashamed of my heritage.
Thanks for the suggestions.
This is a well put together variation of the rhythm click game. The interface is solid, the effects give it a nice atmosphere, and the song choice is pretty darn good. I have to give it to the creator that they did a pretty good job of putting it together.
However, like most rhythm games on the site, the actual rhythm aspect of it was off. To start, the timing of the rings is usually early or late; clicking right on the beat earns you a good whereas clicking before the beat gives you a perfect. As a percussionist this ruins the game for me, since I get a better score when I play the game without sound. Another problem that I had with the rhythm set up is that many of the songs don't seem like the creators actually consulted any percussionists when they were creating their click track. Their choice of when to use 1/8th notes and when to switch it to 1/4 notes seemed arbitrary and didn't flow naturally. It's difficult to create a natural flow when you're not a percussionist though, so I'm not letting that aspect affect my overall review score.
So, all in all, a nice game. I just hope for future releases the creator does more beta testing to make sure the beats sync better with the song (try a higher frame rate) and possibly consults a percussionist to help make the tracks.
Thanks for the feedback!
I'm all for the comedy at a historical person's expence, but this still seems to be in poor taste. Playing the Helen Keller card in a game of apples to apples is one thing, but to go out of your way to make something like this to get a laugh just feels like you're going too far.
So, I'm giving a score I think is fitting of how long this took you.
If you were anyone but Glaiel-Gamer, this would be blammed as spam put on the portal for attention; I'm definitely ashamed that you thought posting this would be ok.
Not worth the coding
While I am still a supporter of using Newgrounds as your own petty attack system as much as the next user (which is to say, not at all), I still must say that this lovely little pile of cropped jpgs and hyper music is not worth the coding you put into it.
-A boring concept. Let's face it: even the original Deffender got boring once the novelty wore off.
-Little to no animation. A tiny loop of one of your friends doing pelvic thrusts will hardly get you an 'A' in an arts' school.
-A muffled firing sound effect. I can't tell if you're saying "troll golf" or "frog rolf," and I'm sure any number of websites have free gun sound effects available.
-A difficulty curve that fails to entertain. I know from experience that coding is hard, but if I could understand in high school the mechanics behind writing the code for a learning tic-tac-toe algorithm, I think you can figure out a way to increase the difficulty of the game as time wears on. Even if the target got smaller, that would be something.
So, petty, immature, myspace-styled attack aside, you made one horrible game. Good job covering up that fact with your misinforming submission icon and your choice of a hyper-remix of an overused internet meme of a song. Please spend longer than one hour on your future submissions, and in return, the users of newgrounds will stop giving you such a horrible score.
Yeah this was just the only time I'm submitting something like this. Was a nice review though =)
This is a great royalty free version of a public domain song. I see no reason why it won't be used in Christmas themed flashes in the future.
Great work. You did a very capable job.
Thanks alot, thought I'd have liked the zero-bombers to think the same!
This is very pertinent criticisme, I like it very much!
All over the place
The song is too all over the place; it doesn't know when it wants to be. There's no real beat (I tried to pretend the bass beats were dotted quarters to no avail) and no meter. I even tried to count in fives, sixes and sevens, but couldn't find a rhythmic pattern.
Also, aside from the rhythmic apathy, there seems to be no real unifying theme or phrases that helps me to identify the song. The whole thing gives the impression of someone randomly pressing keys on an overdistorted Casio. Work on you composition before you worry about the levels of your tracks, but having a balanced song will help it to be more popular.
I could see this being used in some sort of acid-trip flash, but not really much else.
The time signature is in 5/4, like Jealous One and Five Time Seven; it gets complex at times, but when you get a good blend in percussion, it sounds amazing.
As for the 'random' composition, it's more or less organized chaos. It has a particular key structure, and it has a point in everything.
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, but the good news is that I have more accessible songs available as well.
A much better use of your tallents
I believe that this song is a pretty good use of your tallents. There was nice parallel rhythm structure running throughout, a very classic chord progression, and the background drums really added to the song. There were only a few things that rhythmically felt like they didn't fit upon first listen, but I can't even hear them anymore.
It's quite catchy, upbeat, and transitions pretty nicely as a loop from the end back to the beginning. Overall, much better than your mercinaries 2 song. I would stick with this style of music if I were you; you seem to have more flare for it.
LOL, my mercenaries 2 song was just something I felt like doing.... I never tried overdubbing onto another song before, just thought I'd give it a try
A few problems, but still alright
There are a few anatomical problems with this, and I know I'm going to get a "ur an as$hole. i don't care" response, but I feel like they should be mentioned.
One is the wrist. I don't know about your wrist, but normally they don't bend as much side-to-side as they do up-and-down. The way you have her wrist bent makes it look like her bones form a spiral. Even if the intention was to make it bend straight down, the lack of flair at the base of the palm and the incorrectly lengthed fingers just make it look more like an octopus tentacle than a graceful feminine wrist and hand. Wrists can be sexy and graceful. You should practice those.
A small note should be mentioned about the calf muscle. Unless you're drawing the hulk, you shouldn't make up muscles. And as it is, it looks like the leg is bending at an extra joint.
Last, and most important: Boobs don't attach at the collarbone. I don't know if you've ever seen any, but they usually attach about 2 - 2.5 inches down from the collar bone, and are affected by gravity. I know that you could say "shes wering a pushup bra, b1tch," but that has to be one hell of a pushup bra to push them up to the collarbone. Even bras with an under-wire don't change where they attach to the chest, it just brings them up to that level. Looking at the preview images for you other artwork, this seems to be a problem you experience a lot. So I recommend taking a life-drawing class, or, even cheaper, just finding pictures of naked models on the internet and tracing them. It'll really help your boobs look more realistic and help fix your anatomy in general.
So, that's all I have to mention. Overall it's not bad - the proportions and the clothing folds are adequately executed. I would have given it 8 stars, were it not for the aforementioned anatomy problems and for the fact that this is still a sketch. Congrats on the front page and all.
well....actually hehe your not being an asshole dude haha i love comments like this because there not like trollin or just some hypocritical dude saying cool hehehe love the anatomy obserbations and stuff ill try to get better in the art form but is hard but anyways thanks for the tip it its really hard to find people that give good respecfull honest reviews so thanks man
You made good use of the heavy-inked deep shadows, and your control of them was pretty darn good. I also liked the overall effect of your underlighting, but there were a few points where I thought the execution was a bit spotty (eg. the folds of the center character's clothing). But overall you did a pretty splendid job of creating a picture from 4 tones. If this was your first attempt at extreme contrast lighting, then I'd say you should definitely practice some more. With a little refinement, I think you have the talent to master the technique.
It is the first time I use an extreme contrast and I had some problems (especially with clothes) but I think to be the first time this quite well.
Thanks for your observation.
An interesting take
Well, this is certainly an interesting take on one of the more mysterious creatures in a Miyazaki film. The bold, jagged lines are a real departure from the traditional blobby and round interpretation of the character. It looks almost as if Kaonashi was mixed with Venom.
I like your choice of muscle lines for the black background of the character. It's very fitting.
Thanks K1rby, I improve the old.=)
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.